Dating Tips

#1. Never start a conversation with the words, "Now, look lady..."

#2. Always check for a wedding ring. If she's got a ring but it doesn't look like a wedding ring, proceed cautiously. If she's not wearing a ring... she might be married but doesn't wear a ring so, proceed cautiously. (Keep an eye out for any BIG guys coming your way with an attitude as well.)

#3. Try, try... TRY WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT... to refrain from proposing marriage within the first 10 days of meeting her.

#4. Always open her car door first when returning to the car. Otherwise you can count 1 strike against you. (2 strikes if it's particularly cold out.)

#5. Unless she suggests seeing a movie for your first date... NEVER see a movie on your first date. Do something where you can actually spend time talking. Otherwise the only thing she'll know about you is how easily you can be ignored in the dark.

#6. Have a plan. You know you're on thin ice when you're already on the date and you're still asking her... "So what you wanna do?" Egadds, man.. plan ahead. Make reservations even if you don't think you'll need 'em. Wash the car and go to the ATM -before- you pick her up.

#7. Never take anything a drunk woman says literally. (Unless she says you're handsome.)

#8. When you think you're starting to fall in love, ask yourself.. "Is this really the woman I want to grow old with?" Yes, No or Maybe are your only options here. Try not to complicate it any further than that, you'll only confuse yourself.

#9. Never dump a girl so you can start dating her Mother. (I've seen it happen, and things get mighty complicated.)

#10. Always think of a date as "spending time together", never as... "being on stage to impress her".

#11. Try not to bring up your old girlfriends... or you can just plan on saying something stupid.

#12. Don't tell a woman what you THINK she wants to hear, tell her the truth. If you compliment her, think first, observe and give a Real compliment. If she loves Country/Western dancing and you hate it... don't tell you "love it". (Unless you're prepared to do some line-dancing on your next date... and maybe the REST of your LIFE.)

#13. Remember to ask questions when you're talking, but not "yes or no" questions. Even if you spent the last 10 years as a brain-surgeon, rock star, war hero and karate champion you'll only bore her to death if you spend two hours talking about YOU. Find out what she likes, doesn't like, how she makes a living, what she wants to do in the future, how her day went... etc.

#14. Remember her name. I've paid dearly for this one and we'd been going out for two months! I was thinking "Donna" but blurted out "Debbie". Take it from me... you'll spend an eternity explaining that little episode.

#15. Never try to kiss her on the first date. Unless it just "happens" naturally, it's just gonna make things end on a tense note.

#16. If you even THINK you want to stand a chance of going out with her again, call within at -least- 5 days even if only to say, "Hi... how was your day?"