ONE LINE SMS MESSAGES

:: Back to SMS Messages Main Page ::

  • No guts, no glory, no brain, same story.
  • When money talks, the criminal walks.
  • I'm not getting older...I'm getting bitter.
  • Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw.
  • I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
  • I'm as confused as a termite in a yo-yo.
  • I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
  • INSTANT HUMAN (Just Add Coffee)
  • Insanity is my only means of relaxation.
  • Is it time for your medication or mine?
  • When all else fails manipulate the data.
  • All computers wait at the same speed
  • How do I set the laser printer to stun?
  • How do you get off a non-stop flight?
  • If we quit voting will they all go away?
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
  • How come night falls but day breaks?
  • All stressed out and no one to choke
  • Where there's a will, I want to be in it
  • Exceptions always outnumber rules
  • I may not be perfect, but I'm all I got
  • Anything not nailed down is a cat toy
  • Adults are just kids who owe money
  • Constipated people don't give a crap
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up
  • How can there be self-help groups?
  • I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable
  • "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy
  • I like feminists; I think they're cute
  • Guilt -- the gift that keeps on giving
  • Out of Body. Back in Five Minutes
  • BIGAMIST --- A heavy fog in Italy
  • The best things in life aren't things
  • Does killing time damage eternity?
  • Have a nice day. . . somewhere else
  • Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
  • I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes
  • Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
  • Everyone is entitled to my opinion
  • I've got the ship, you've got the harbour ... what say we tie up for the night?
  • That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
  • I don't work here. I'm a consultant
  • If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?
  • If it ain't chocolate, it ain't dessert
  • I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!
  • Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume
    the position.
  • Darling, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house.
  • Can I flirt with you?
  • Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
  • Be unique and different, just say yes.
  • Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin.
  • Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
  • First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
  • I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
  • Kiss my ass, and do it fast,suck my dick and do it quick.
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
  • Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  • Justice: A decision in your favor
  • Do not disturb. Already disturbed
  • A waist is a terrible thing to mind
  • Demons are a Ghouls best Friend
  • Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
  • Strip mining prevents forest fires
  • Today's subliminal message is . . .
  • Relax, its only Ones and Zeros
  • I don't get even . . . . . I get odder
  • The older I get, the older old is
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet
  • Allow me to introduce my selves
  • Do witches run spell checkers?
  • A feature is a bug with seniority
  • If it's too loud, you're too old
  • Do pilots take crash-courses?
  • Born free . . . Taxed to death
  • If it ain't broke, fix it until it is
  • We do precision guesswork
  • Nothing succeeds like excess
  • Common sense isn't common
  • Note - The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.
  • Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
  • Celibacy is not hereditary
  • Familiarity breeds children
  • What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
  • Hi - I am a virus and am entering your brain right now...wait, hold on, sorry unable to find brain...leaving now...
  • If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
  • Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
  • I remind u that the most powerful force in the universe is sms gossip.
  • Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.
  • Just reminding u there is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.
  • If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
  • It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With ahunting knife. And he ran into me.
    Backwards. 17 times.
  • We will now upgrade your brain, please wait...searching...searching...still searching...sorry NO BRAIN found
  • You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
  • I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem
  • Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
  • If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me
  • If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  • My mom never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch
  • Mind intentionally left blank...
  • Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
  • There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
  • The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
  • I pretend to work here - they pretend to pay me.
  • You may be recognized soon. Hide.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
  • Is somebody not editing what I'm saying here???
  • Yes, this is my pickup. No, I will not help you move.
  • I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?
  • I might be in the basement. I'll go upstairs and check.
  • Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
  • If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
  • Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?
  • A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.
  •  
  • In Ikea they have a Shelf storage system called Nob - So that's the only shop you can go into and ask the
    assistant to wheel your Nob to the car cuz it's too heavy.
  • What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? Ok u 2, don't start
    anything.
  • Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
  • I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
  • Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
  • Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!
  • Y did the jelly baby go 2 school? Cuz he wanted to be a smarty.
  • I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back...! Nice Ass.
  • How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it goes away!
  • Nope.....u still ugly!
  • It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.
  • On the cellphone pad of life, always keep one finger on the disconnect key.
  • The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.
  • Why'd they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!
  • Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.
  • How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.
  • Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
  • I once had One2One with a Virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me til my face went
  • Orange, til I busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!
  • Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
  • A: There is a stamp on it.
  • This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Thank you
  • Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
  • 370HSSV 0773H
  • Hw do U kp a txtr in suspense? I'll tel U l8r.
  • FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still
  • searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found.
  • Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you?
  • How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!
  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!